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Saturday, May 1, 2010

Emotionally exhausted

This week has been a doozy. (Did I spell that right?) I emailed my SW last Saturday (after making my last post) and asked her just to tell me when she could meet me to get the homestudy. "Tell me when you can meet and I will make it work for me!" I explained our hurry and she agreed to make it work on Sunday. I drove about 45 minutes to the town she lives in to meet to get our homestudy. So very excited! One problem...the licenses (her SW license and agency license) were not notarized. UGH!! Another panicked email to Shelley and she explained the easy fix for that. Woohoo!!

Well, Sunday night my dad called me and said that my grandpa (Daddy's dad) wasn't doing well. He had gone to the doctor and found out that he had bone cancer and was given 2-3 weeks to live. On Monday, my mom called my cell (while I was at work) and told me that he had passed away Monday morning. So...2-3 weeks turned into 5 days. I arranged to leave on Wed to come back to the Mountains for his funeral. Before I left, Honey and I went to the bank and got our final documents notarized for our dossier. Honey decided to stay at home and take care of the animals, and he went to the Secretary of State's office on Thurs and got all our documents apostilled (other than the ones that were already done). So, when I get back home, I get to mail out our homestudy to Little Man's country!

Grandpa's funeral was yesterday. We had the graveside service and then the family went to a local buffet restaurant for lunch. My uncle (Daddy's brother) called yesterday evening to tell us that he came home to find his wife had died while he was at the funeral. She had been feeling poorly lately (that's why she didn't go to the funeral), but not so bad that anyone thought this could happen. I truly wish I could stay for her funeral, but it isn't until Tuesday and it takes a full day to drive home. I just can't miss another 3 days of work. That makes me feel more guilty than anyone can fathom. I wasn't terribly close to my aunt, but she is still family. This makes the 3rd death in our family in 2 months. And it's the second back to back death we've had in a few years. I have to say, enough is enough!

So, I will probably be driving back tomorrow. It's a 14 hour drive...

Is it normal for me to feel guilty about being so focused on the adoption in the midst of all this death. My Grandpa didn't understand (or agree) with our adopting from another country. Maybe that's it. I just don't know how to feel about anything right now.

**I'm sorry for how choppy this post ended up. I just reread it and see how disjointed it is. I guess my brain is mush!

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