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Friday, October 22, 2010

Well

The decision I had made was about my job. I work as a pharmacy tech. A couple months ago, I accepted a position with the company to be the tech trainer for my district. In this position, I needed to hold classes with the techs to teach them how our company works and prepare them for a certification class. Since I have a degree in education, I figured I was qualified. The problem...the last few months, I have been terribly preoccupied. (Duh, right?) I went back and forth with this...stressing the whole way. I hadn't held any classes yet, since I was trying to figure out a lesson plan of sorts. I told Honey that I wanted to quit the position. I told my mom I wanted to quit the position. Both told me that they thought I should keep with it and hold a few classes to see how I felt about it. I just was too overwhelmed with the adoption, wanting to home school Little Man for a little while, and trying to figure out this job...plus a whole host of other stresses. I met with my district manager today....actually had lunch with her. After making small talk for almost an hour...I dropped the bomb. I told her that I just didn't think I could do the job. She told me that she didn't want me to make this decision right now. She thought that with all the emotions and stresses right now, she just didn't think I was thinking straight. She said that after Little Man comes home and we all get somewhat settled, I can figure it out. If I still don't want to do it, she will find someone else. I am very thankful I have a manager who is so understanding.

Someone not too long ago posed a question (I think it was on Reece's Rainbow's message board). Is there such a thing as adoption brain (like pregnancy brain)? I really think there is. If not, why can I not focus on anything and get overwhelmed at the slightest stress? If not, why do I cry at the drop of a hat and feel nauseous? Why can't I shut my brain off at night so I can just sleep? Please tell me there is adoption brain!!

1 comment:

  1. You don't have any biological kids, so you haven't experienced this yet. Honey, you are NESTING! Just like a pregnant mother who is going to give birth in a few weeks, that is exactly what you are doing. The problem is there is no baby draining the physical energy from you to make you sleep. And believe me, I am right there with you! From Monday to yesterday, I only slept FIVE HOURS total all week, and have lost 7 pounds! Finally last night I was able to fall asleep about 10:30, but my eyes popped open at 5:00 this morning and I've been awake every since. All these things running through my brain that need to get done. The money that we have yet to come up with, who is going to take our daughter while we're gone, the dog sitter backed out, will our fundraiser raise money or be a loss? I am NOT an anxious person by nature and I am a MESS right now. A mess I tell ya!

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