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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Our happy boy

This little guy is so happy. I am not saying it has all been easy and sunshiny. We are experiencing probably 4-5 temper tantrums a day because he has quite the stubborn side. Since we don't have any other children, we are playing a guessing game most of the time. I have a question for you experienced parents....how do you know when you are doing it right? I don't want to question my parenting ability, but it is happening anyway. I love to see him smile, but I'm afraid I'm doing something wrong when he throws one of his fits. I don't want to give him everything he wants because that will bite us all later, but I hate to see him so upset. UGH! I finally got him to smile for pictures today. Isn't it gorgeous?!

6 comments:

  1. So cute!!! And I wish that I had some advice for you, but I don't. Praying that you find the support that you need.

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  2. So, so adorable! What a cutie. He and his daddy look SO cute together. And stubbornness is definitely a trait that we see in our son from the same country! As for his fits, just remember that he will be testing you a lot in the beginning to see how far he can take things and how much you will let him get away with. All kids go through this. So just stay consistent and confident and you will get through them and eventually, they will ease up and only happen every once in awhile. Kids crave consistency and boundaries so just keep doing what your doing. Love all the posts and being able to follow your journey!

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  3. Kids are PROS at making us feel guilty. How do you know if you're doing it right? If it's something that you, as the parent, has decided is not allowed, and you say "no" and you stick to it, then you're doing the right thing.

    Kids do what works, and if it works to throw a fit and get upset, thats what they do. When he does that, as long as he's safe, walk away from it (or turn away, since you're stuck in a hotel room right now!) He seems to calm himself down pretty quickly, which tells you he's just checking to see what works with these new people in his life. And, communication is a HUGE issue for him right now since he has no way to tell you what he wants or needs. It could be a tantrum is simply because he wanted orange vs. blue, and there was no way to tell you, and since you're still getting to know each other, you're still learning each other's body language too.

    You're doing a great job! And, it will be much more relaxed when you're home under your own roof and can establish some kind of routine to your day. Hang in there!

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  4. Hey uncle Bill, it's Jay. Mom just shared the blog link with me. Wow, what an adventure! You'll have to come have a playdate with Stephen Paul when you're back in the states and settled in. Stephen had (and is still working on) a lot of the issues you are describing. Consistency is the key. Give them an inch and they'll want a mile. Kids are constantly trying to learn the boundaries and what is or isn't acceptable and it's our jobs as parents to guide them. Notice I said guide, not "tell". You should also let them make mistakes, as long as you know they won't get too hurt from it! :) You don't want to crush their spirit or sense of adventure. Also, have you guys looked into using sign language as an interim communication tool? Signs are very easy for kids to learn and don't require speech. Of course, you say the word as you sign and Vlad will pick up on it. We used sign for Stephen and to this day, if he really, really wants something that he isn't getting he will rub his chest and say "PLEASE?!" with the big sad puppydog eyes and you just melt. Lots of love from my family to yours. We'll keep you in our prayers for a fast approval!
    Jason, Tammie, Elizabeth, and Stephen

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  5. He looks just like your husband! I just found your blog tonight from another blog I follow.

    I have 5 kids 9y, 6y, 3y, 2y, 9m. Kids will push us. I remember doing a parenting class at church and they said children are sinful little beings. I remember being so offended by that. But its true. We are all sinful by nature. The Bible says if we train up a child in the way he should go he will not depart from it. They will test their boundaries, speaking of Boundaries that book is great. Boundaries for kids. There will be a honeymoon period also and after that the behaviors usually get more real. We did foster care for awhile and boy was I fooled.

    Pray(power of a praying parent another great book). Seek guidance from your heavenly Father. Find a MOPS group or Moms group. Not all moms have the right parenting styles but you can ask advice and learn from their mistakes and see who you dont want to be like as well as who you want to be like. More than anything you have motherly instinct use it. Also I am not saying you arent bonded but they say it takes 6 months to a year to bond with an adopted child. I wish I had known that. I was so upset because I thought I didnt love my child because I didnt feel that immediate bond. I mean I loved him and would die for him but there was something different. We worked a lot on that. I pray you have a beautiful blessed life. Congrats on your son!!!

    be blessed
    Ashlee
    http://ourjourneytoadoption.beckfamily143.com/

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  6. He is a doll!! What a sweetie pie!!
    (((HUGS)))

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