Friday, July 15, 2011

Whys...part 1

When we tell people we have adopted and are adopting again, we have received a few questions. Here are some of the most common and my attempt at answers (sometimes I have problems getting my thoughts out in a way that makes sense to others)

1. Can you not have your own children? / Why did you adopt?
I do not get offended by this question because I share too much information anyway. (If you know me in real life, you are probably laughing at that understatement) Having bio kids for us is questionable. If it were to happen, we would be happy. But as of yet, it hasn't and we haven't been trying to prevent it. I do have a couple anatomical abnormalities that might prevent me from getting/staying pregnant, but I have never had a doctor say, "You will never have biological kids." We adopted because we wanted to be parents...plain and simple.

2. Why did you adopt from Serbia?
We adopted from Serbia because that is where Vlado was. God spoke to my heart the first time that I saw his picture. I didn't know it at the time, but God was whispering that Vlado was my son. All the details worked out in a way that could have only been God. So many huge obstacles were overcome and I give all glory to my Heavenly Father! *To be honest, I always thought my kids would come from Ukraine!

3. Why aren't you adopting from the US?
I'm not going to debate the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of children in the US foster care system. I dealt with the "system" for a while many years ago when I was in a previous marriage. I know that kids in foster care don't have it great. I know that they (even after they are removed from their bio parents) often do not have anyone to rely on. I applaud those people who have been able to adopt children from foster care, but it is not as easy as most people think. I will leave it at that. Once again....I am not going to debate this. So, if you want to comment to that effect, please don't because I will be forced to delete it!

4. You haven't been home long. Why are you adopting again so soon?
When we were in Serbia, we were blessed to be able to visit the baby house where Vlado lived for the first 4 years of his life. We were thankful! But our hearts were broken. There were so many children there and it was so very strange to think about the fact that these children LIVED THERE! I have worked at so many daycare centers in my life and, at first glance, an orphanage is just like that. But then you come back to reality and see that these children have no one. Yes, some of the caretakers care about the children. But they don't have time to give them a nice long warm bath and snuggle them before bed. They don't have time to read them a bedtime story and kiss their forehead. Vlado's baby house was a good one, but it still wasn't a family. We knew when we saw all those children that we would adopt again.....and we wouldn't take our time. Many of the special needs kids don't have the option for us to take our time! Which brings me to the next question.

5. Why special needs kids?
It is no secret that I have a LOVE for Reece's Rainbow kids. When I found Reece's Rainbow back in 2007, I didn't know that years later, my children would be listed there. I didn't start out thinking, "What a great thing to adopt special needs kids?" when I first contemplated adoption. No, I wanted a child or two as young as possible with only "mild or correctable conditions." But then I began to realize (after looking at the many waiting kids) that these were just children. They didn't ask to have special needs. They didn't ask to be abandoned. They didn't ask to be looked at as a lesser person. They were just children....who happened to have some special need. Our children chose us....their special needs are secondary. I mean, how could you say no to either one of our kids. :) They are gorgeous!

I just realized that this post has become quite lengthy. I will have to continue on a different day. Trust me, there are many more questions. :)

1 comment:

  1. Vlado was made for your family. First of all, he looks like hubby. Second, he's just your boy. The way he relates to you, the way he looks at you, you are 100% his mama. and I know you have been concerned about attachment, but I gotta say, that boy LOVES you honey.