Saturday, April 21, 2012

He is learning to trust

*This might be a little long.

Today was phenomenal in so many ways. Honey and I were both a bit anxious for today's visit. We have been so discouraged by the lack of eye contact (I know it is normal, but it is still hard!) and his overall behavior around us....he acted like we weren't there most of the time. Today things started to change a bit.

When we first got there, we were happy to see our favorite caregiver was there. She is the one who lets us go down to the 2nd floor playroom. She called his name and he came out in the hallway to see what she wanted. He caught a glimpse of us and practically climbed over her to get to us. After being given a few games, we were off to the playroom. I grabbed one of the buys bees from he other playroom and he was so happy to be able to play with it. He and Vlado played together for quite a while, helping each other get the beads from one place to another. At one point, Honey threw a ball and it landed in "little brother's" lap. I told him to throw the ball back to Daddy, and HE DID! I'm sure it might have been a fluke, but he looked straight at Honey and threw the ball. That was our morning visit....playing with the busy bee, looking at books together, throwing the ball, and slowly starting to look at us. :) It is still on his terms, of course, but it is happening.

Our evening visit was good too. When we got to his floor, all the kids were sitting playing with small toys. He didn't even look for approval. He just jumped up and headed toward the door. The worker had us wait for a minute so he could get shoes on, but he was ready to go. Vlado even let him push the button on the elevator for the 2nd floor. :)

We went back into the playroom and the boys commenced taking every toy off the shelves. Every time we have gone down there, we walk past a room that is filled with kids who are non-ambulatory. I told Honey I would be right back and I took a chance. I went to that room and asked the worker if I could go in. She was busy feeding one of the children (I won't describe that) but told me yes. I was able to love up on about 5 little ones who were the size of 2-3 year olds. But these were not 2-3 year old children. They all had their permanent front teeth so I am guessing at least 8-9 year olds. One darling little girl was terrified of me at first. She was lying in a crib and I just put my hand on her chest. She started to whimper so I talked to her very quietly. One little boy who was on the floor held my hand so tightly. He was babbling to me telling me quite the story. :)

All too quickly, it was time to go. I was here to spend time with our future son, but I just needed to give these other children a little time. When I got back to the playroom, there was a family in there with Honey and our boys. They were feeding their baby a bottle and the mother was singing to him. I couldn't take my eyes off them. Their little boy has ds. But it could not have been more obvious the love that these parents have for their baby boy. They were in the playroom with the entire 2 hour visit. They sang to him, played with him, cuddled him, fed him a bottle and later a jar of baby food. They were just loving their child. I'm absolutely sure that they would care for him at home if they thought they could....if they thought that their child would be accepted like other children. I saw today, first hand, that parents who relinquish their children to orphanages do so with heavy hearts. It broke my heart thinking of how she felt when she took him back to his room. :(

This is the first coloring page of our new son. I can't wait to post pictures of him! I'm sure some of my RR friends will recognize him! :)

I got lots of these sideways glances today...which is much better than just seeing the top or back of his head.
It's kind of hard to see, but he is leaning into me in this picture.  I think this was his first voluntary physical contact


  1. My heart just aches right now. I'm so glad your visits went better today. Progress...slow and steady wins the race.

  2. The story of the couple with the baby is just heart wrenching. So glad today was a better day. Been praying for you all.

  3. You and Melissa are absolute angels! What an amazing journey and leap of faith- complete with rewards of the miracle level and so deeply special and unique! Such an honor to know you and your family! You're an inspiration and a role model for so many other families!