Sunday, April 22, 2012

So many children!

I debated whether to post this story or not. But I think I need to get it out. It is eating me up inside.

Back in Nov 2010 when we adopted Vlado, we were given the opportunity to take a tour of the orphanage where he had spent his first 4 years. I was nervous. I had heard so many stories and my heart didn't want to see the reality. We visited so many rooms and each had children that were aching for a little affection. There were little ones on beds that seemed to be unable to get up on their own. Without permission, I picked up several and just held them close, willing them to feel at least a little comfort for a few minutes. This happened in room after room.

At last, we were taken to the 3rd floor....where Vlado had been before he went into foster care. We were able to go to his room and meet one of his former caregivers. The kids swarmed around these new adults. I went out into the hallway but Honey stayed in the room for a minute longer. A little girl, maybe 6 or 7 years old with ds, came up to Honey and put her arms up. He happily picked her up and rubbed her back and she looked at him. He put her down and was getting ready to walk away as a little boy ran up to him and his arms went up. Honey bent down and scooped up this little guy and they looked into each other's eyes. Honey said that he had the overwhelming desire to walk out the front door with this little boy in his arms. Something spoke to both of them during that moment. And Honey could not forget it.

Fast forward to this trip. We had our first visit on Wed but it was terribly short. On Thursday morning, we had our 2nd visit. As we were standing in the hallway waiting for a diaper change, a little boy ran out into the hallway. He brushed by me, Vlado, the other caregiver, social worker and doctor. He had his eyes on Honey and Honey alone. He wrapped his arms around Honey's legs and was jabbering away. Honey bent down and picked him up and when I met his eyes, they were wide in surprise. It was the same little boy that had latched onto Honey last trip. And he acted like he remembered. Quickly, he was ushered back into the room with the other children and our visit began. We sat in the partitioned area putting puzzles together and talking with the social worker. That little boy had sneaked out of the room again and found his way to us again. He listened for a moment and then said to the social worker, "English?" The social worker smiled and said yes, and the boy looked at honey and said, "My name is David" (I can't tell you his real name obviously) but he told us....IN ENGLISH! We smiled at him and he took that as acceptance. He climbed up into Honey's lap and laced his fingers through Honey's and sat as still as he could. He just wanted to belong. The social worker didn't shoo him away and he stayed for a few minutes, until the caregiver found him.

Today, we had to wait for a minute again for our little boy to be ready, so we were in the hallway again. "David" came back out to Honey and again wished to be picked up. A little girl came up to me. She is absolutely beautiful! She wrapped her arms around my knees so I bent to pick her up. Her arms circled my neck and her legs wrapped around my middle. She laid her head on my shoulder and tried to melt into me. She felt so good in my arms. Neither of the boys has ever been extremely affectionate with me. I'm not saying that I am in any way disappointed in the affection level of the boys...I know each child is different. And I know many boys just don't have the "cuddle bug gene." But oh how this little girl needs a Mommy! What I wouldn't give to be able to give that to her.

I have no idea if either of these children is available for international adoption. My guess is no because, from what I have seen, neither has special needs. They both seem relatively typical. But still they are stuck behind those walls with no family to call their own. Why does it have to be like this? Yes, these children are given the opportunity to go to school. Yes, they have food and clothing and a warm place to sleep. But are they given a nice warm bath before they go to bed? Does someone read them a bedtime story and kiss their forehead? These two might not be available, but there are so many (in so many countries....yes, even our own!) that need us. We are all commanded to help the you live it?


  1. You are doing such a wonderful thing. A minute of compassion and 1 small hug will last with these children forever. I am so proud of you and you are a wonderful mother!! You must take after your own mother, because she is a pretty awesome Mom and Aunt! Love you all ~ Michelle A.

  2. Ok, you've got me weeping again. Am I going to have to stop reading your blog? :) THANK YOU for loving on these little ones! I can't help but wonder if one of them could be mine.

  3. I wish I was in ur pocket so I can get a glimps as we are raising the rest of the funds for our homestudy and want to go where you are. It is so sad to see so many waiting and some not available. When I began reading about the little girl I was excited and was co hoping that this little princess or David would be available as I would see if I could ask for their age bracket and sn but then to hear they are not available brought tears to my eyes. This is the fear I have the heartache that they are being left behind. On another note I am glahings are going good for you all over there with your new son and cant wait to see pictures (((HUGS))) tammy